Honey Friends
“I like you, but you’re leaving in six months. Where can this go?”
I was shocked to hear this statement (or something very similar) from several international students when I arrived here. I have friends who are staying at UTS for the spring term and leaving in November/December, as well as friends who are earning their entire degree in Sydney and therefore staying put for at least a year or two longer. Although I understand that it’s hard to get close to someone over the course of a semester and watch them leave to go home to another continent six or so months later, does that mean the friendship or even relationship isn’t worth pursuing?
For many people I’ve talked to, the answer is yes. Suddenly, everyone’s been tagged with a time limit - an expiration date, if you will - and they won’t let themselves grow close to anyone who’s going to be abroad less than six months because they know there’s a possible end in sight. In most cases, this goes for both friendships and relationships.
I don’t like mentally separating my friends and potential lovers into short- and long-term categories. For me, every person holds the potential to impact my life in some way, whether it’s over a three week period or over a span of three months. I prefer to live day-by-day and see what happens. Of course, this has resulted in my lack of long-term relationships and a different set of best friends every few years, but I really don’t regret any of it. I’ve had the opportunity to experience all sorts of friendships with so many different kinds of people, all of whom have taught me about wellbeing and seeking out the things in life that truly make me happy. I’ve dated guys for several weeks, some for a few months, but it doesn’t make a difference because each one has left a mark on me as I’ve grown up and learned about myself.
I know I’m making myself out to sound like a heartless bitch who throws away friendships like cheap clothing, but that’s really not the case. I constantly miss those people who are no longer in my life and those I’ve moved far away from, but the memories live on and fortunately we live in a digital age where instant overseas communication is just a few clicks away.
I know I’ll revisit this topic come December when loads of the friends I’ve made this semester board their international homebound flights and leave me to partially start over in Australia. Perhaps then my feelings will change. For now, I’m going to view every friendship like honey: something sweet with no expiration date.
